Just One of Those Days

What a day! You know those days where nothing seems ok? When everything seems to fall to pieces and you feel completely helpless? I had one of those days today. In one sudden moment a happy Sunday turned... well... just BLAH. I found out today one of my major plans for my future had fallen through and things would not be progressing in my life as I had hoped they would. I don't exactly handle disappointment well and became rather emotional about it all... and my poor husband fell victim to that. We had a bit of a negative encounter before church today (which was sadly initiated by me and left me feeling a million times worse than I had been feeling in the first place). It was largely a miscommunication (on my part) and over something unimportant and since I was upset already I blew things way out of proportion. I felt bad about it just a few minutes after it had passed but was too proud (and annoyed) to admit fault and apologize.

Well, we went to church (we were attending my cousin's mission homecoming) and went to my Uncle's for the luncheon afterward. I was still feeling emotional and tired (which happens when you only had 5.5 hours of sleep the previous night) so we ditched out fairly early and went to my parents' house where James could play more easily, Andrew could change out of his church clothes and surf the internet, and I could catch a much needed nap. I slept for awhile and woke feeling as emotional as I had before I slept. We played games with my family (I lost horribly) and I went back to my cozy zone (curled on the couch with a comfy blanket). That was about the time I lost it (for the first time this evening). Trying to do so unnoticed by my family I started crying and couldn't stop. My family (mainly my mom, sisters, and James) tried to calm me. Embarrassed of being caught crying I forced myself to stop and pretend I was ok.

When I got home I lost it again. James kept blowing me kisses and trying to give me loves to make me feel better and my sweet husband (who I had been so wretched to earlier that day) kept trying to figure out ways to make me feel better. He cleaned the kitchen, did laundry, changed James' diaper, entertained James, offered to get me anything I could think of, even offered to give me a make-over (which I must admit would've been rather terrifying and humorous).

Like most hormonal females (yes, I was PMS-ing... alot) once I had got my dose of crying in I felt much better. I was still disappointed and still a bit sad but I had dumped my emotional garbage can and once again had space to handle the events of life.

This entry is mostly to publicly announce to Andrew that I was wrong. I know I was and I know I treated you horribly. I am SO sorry! It was also to let everyone know just how forgiving and wonderful my husband is and how wacky I can get. I really am a nice person but like anyone can have bad days. If you catch me on one of those days I am sorry! I try my hardest to not let my garbage rub off on anyone else.

Andrew- I love you more than anything and you mean the world to me. Thanks for keeping me laughing and for working so hard to support our family. XOXO!!!